Sorry I’ve been quiet for a while.
So. Pregnancy isn’t how I remembered it from 8 years ago. A lot has changed since then. Mostly my body is 8 years older now. With a dash of insane workload at work and no husband to have me lavender bath water or dinner for when I finally do get home from my 10 hr plus days.
Just like everything in life, when you do something new and exciting, there’s no amount of prep work that could ever be enough. There’s no amount of research and questioning that can truly prepare you for diving into the unknown.
I regret nothing.
But I’m learning a whole awful lot!
Mama and me are both strong willed people. It has set us up for some interesting feelings and conversations. We are trying to learn how to manage this short term close relationship without overstepping boundaries. We live on opposite sides of the community. She quit her job as a teacher at the end of the school year and my job is quite demanding of me and my time. I’m certain she would rather I just move in with her and I’m certain I just want to go home and sit on my couch and stare at the wall.
This is new to both of us. Her child is growing inside another human, away from her ability to control everything . She is not present for the milestones of baby. That’s a strain mentally. My body is being taken over by a sweet little parasite that, as soon as it comes out, will never have an attachment with this body again. I’m trying to manage my life as if I was not pregnant, all the while hormones flow through me like magma.
Lots of emotions.
We are doing our best to manage the situation as best as we can.
I’m having to forcibly work on asking others for help and releasing my independence. As my belly grows, and it sure is growing, there is less I’m able to do.
As of right now, my house appears to be ground zero from a massive tornado. My yard hasn’t been mowed in weeks, it’s hardly walkable. Dinner has become minimal and sad. These are all things I need to learn to ask for help on. God’s teaching me things through this journey that I wasn’t wanting to learn. Funny how He always works.
Mama decided to do the Harmony test for gender and chromosome abnormalities. It was almost 2 weeks, right before 4th of July, when she found out she was having a girl and everything came back normal! Mama wanted a girl and we all wanted healthy.
We had a gender reveal for mama, daddy, brother, and the rest of their family. It was sweet. Strange for me. But sweet. I brought my two kids with me so I wasn’t alone.
I went to the doctor yesterday for a check up but we didn’t get an ultrasound. Mama was disappointed but at the next visit in August there will be one.
Mama gave me a doppler so I’m able to listen to baby Kate’s heartbeat whenever I want. I send her videos of the heartbeat so she can hear too.
It’s sweet to know this little human is growing and every day we pass is one day closer to giving this mama what she has always desired.
Until next time.