Surrogacy Journey : moving up and out

I’m 26 weeks. Time to nest. But what do I nest. Such an interesting feeling. I’m not stressed about where the baby will sleep. Who will watch baby while I work. Will the baby eat properly. It’s surreal. Mama has bought baby Kate a whole wardrobe and has been researching all of the newest and latest and best of everything. This is so neat. We are 2 people experiencing 2 different events in this process.

Baby Kate is moving a lot now but mostly in the middle of the night and wee hours of the morning so mama hasn’t been able to feel her yet. We have our glucose test and ultrasound at the end of October. Mama can’t wait to see her baby girl and I can’t wait to find out if the placenta previa has corrected itself.

I’m feeling much better, mentally. I started reading a book with an inappropriate title written by Gary John Bishop. It basically says, get over it and figure out a way to fix whatever you’re feeling. Whatever happens, happens. How you respond and how you manage after is your responsibility. It’s helped so much.

Basically, I put my big girl panties on. It’s just hormones and emotions. I will survive. I will bring a baby into this world to complete a family that has wanted this for years. What a blessing it is for me to be able to do this!! The rest isn’t important.

I’m the luckiest gal alive to be able go do this!!!!

Signing off…..

15 weeks down, centuries to go?!

Hello all!!!!!

Sorry I’ve been quiet for a while.

So. Pregnancy isn’t how I remembered it from 8 years ago. A lot has changed since then. Mostly my body is 8 years older now. With a dash of insane workload at work and no husband to have me lavender bath water or dinner for when I finally do get home from my 10 hr plus days.

Just like everything in life, when you do something new and exciting, there’s no amount of prep work that could ever be enough. There’s no amount of research and questioning that can truly prepare you for diving into the unknown.

I regret nothing.

But I’m learning a whole awful lot!

Mama and me are both strong willed people. It has set us up for some interesting feelings and conversations. We are trying to learn how to manage this short term close relationship without overstepping boundaries. We live on opposite sides of the community. She quit her job as a teacher at the end of the school year and my job is quite demanding of me and my time. I’m certain she would rather I just move in with her and I’m certain I just want to go home and sit on my couch and stare at the wall.

This is new to both of us. Her child is growing inside another human, away from her ability to control everything . She is not present for the milestones of baby. That’s a strain mentally. My body is being taken over by a sweet little parasite that, as soon as it comes out, will never have an attachment with this body again. I’m trying to manage my life as if I was not pregnant, all the while hormones flow through me like magma.

Lots of emotions.

We are doing our best to manage the situation as best as we can.

I’m having to forcibly work on asking others for help and releasing my independence. As my belly grows, and it sure is growing, there is less I’m able to do.

As of right now, my house appears to be ground zero from a massive tornado. My yard hasn’t been mowed in weeks, it’s hardly walkable. Dinner has become minimal and sad. These are all things I need to learn to ask for help on. God’s teaching me things through this journey that I wasn’t wanting to learn. Funny how He always works.

Baby update:

Mama decided to do the Harmony test for gender and chromosome abnormalities. It was almost 2 weeks, right before 4th of July, when she found out she was having a girl and everything came back normal! Mama wanted a girl and we all wanted healthy.

We had a gender reveal for mama, daddy, brother, and the rest of their family. It was sweet. Strange for me. But sweet. I brought my two kids with me so I wasn’t alone.

I went to the doctor yesterday for a check up but we didn’t get an ultrasound. Mama was disappointed but at the next visit in August there will be one.

Mama gave me a doppler so I’m able to listen to baby Kate’s heartbeat whenever I want. I send her videos of the heartbeat so she can hear too.

It’s sweet to know this little human is growing and every day we pass is one day closer to giving this mama what she has always desired.

Until next time.

SURROGACY : It’s positive

Hello everybody! It’s me Pattie.Guess what? I’m going to have a baby.

I am over the moon excited for Mommy and Daddy! I started taking pregnancy test after day 2 because clearly I’m crazy. I started to get discouraged and started realizing why everybody told me not to take pregnancy test.

Friday, day 5, I started to notice a faint pink line. Every day after the pink line got darker and darker.I went for a blood test this morning and I got the call this afternoon. The beta is positive ladies and gentlemen it worked!!! Words cannot describe what I feel. Overwhelmed with joy! For those of you that listen to Christian radio, I called the Wally Show and announced it on the show.

I did not use my real name because the mom and the dad have not announced the information yet. It felt good to be able to announce it and I cannot wait until I can be open about this this is such a beautiful experience I have no words to express what I feel.

Signed,

Real Life Baby mama

Take yourself out

I decided to do a thing. A big thing.

I took myself on a romantic weekend getaway.

Alone.

I have been working so hard on becoming ok with me.

I had spent my entire life not liking me. And trying to find a relationship when you don’t like me never works out.

I have grown to love me.

This trip was my reward.

God has spoken so heavily on my heart to fall into His arms. God has shown me what true real love is. I love love and I love me.

I drove almost 5 hours, backroads most of the way, from Alabama to Georgia.

I enjoyed the views of the Ocoee River

I got to my hotel in Helen, Georgia Friday early evening. I unpacked my ridiculous amount of clothes onto one of the double full beds. I spent 2 hours getting ready because I could. It was pouring down rain. I walked to a local German restaurant. Upstairs there was said to be a polka band playing for the Fasching weekend (German Mardi Gra). I was blown away. A man with chin length brown hair and business slacks started jammin on his acordian. With a man playing a saxophone to his right and a man on electric guitar on his left. A man playing the drums behind him. What have I gotten myself into?

THE ALEX MEIXNER BAND!!

I fell in love. The band taught the small tavern crowd the songs. Most everyone knew the songs. I clapped along. I love music. It soothes my soul. I listened to them all night long.

I was asked to dance by a “prince of Fasching”.

I gladly obliged. We danced for hours. The band played their last song and I bee bopped back to the hotel. It was raining on the way home but I didn’t feel it.

It took me way longer than expected to get out of bed the following day. My calves were sore. My head pounded. Still such a wonderful treat to be here I was. I got myself together and set off to find nature. I drove to Unicoi State Park. I heard there was some falls that were breathtaking and I was determined to find them. I got to the park right after the falls closed for the day. I continued on to venture in the park to find peace. There was a playground beside soem running water. There were families grilling and watching the water crash on the rocks.I sat down beside the water and read.

A time later I decided to pack up and explore Helen.

What an adorable town tucked away in the mountains. I love it and will be returning.

I had authentic German meals. I met the owner of the Ol Heidelberg. The best German restaurant owned by one of the kindest Mexican fellas!

The Fasching Festival was on the agenda for the evening. This was the main event of the town.

I’m not going to lie. It was a bit langweilig, or the English folk say boring. I didn’t la t too long before I headed back to the polka band!! I had become a fan. Quick.

We sang and danced the night away. I knew the songs this time.

Another night ended. A completely satisfied customer to this German hidden world.

I woke up at a decent time Sunday morning. I had breakfast and I set out on foot. It was raining but not too bad. I wandered about the town. I’m not a shopper but if you are, there are so many shoppes. There was live music and people watching everywhere. I explored but was determined to make it to the falls.

I did it. I made it.

And of course the pictures don’t do it justice.

The trek up was slightly painful, as I was sore from the polka dancing the previous nights, but well worth it. I enjoyed watching everyone taking pictures of each other and the falls. I offered to take pictures for everyone to enjoy.

I walked back and the bottom fell. I was soaked. But it was a happy soaked.

I got to my truck and set off for more German delights. I found a restaurant overlooking park of the creek. It was delightful and cozy and too early for the lunch rush. My server offered me a personal heater to warm up and dry with. I sat at the bar and enjoyed a heifen weizen and listened to live music. It wasn’t Germna but it was perfect for a rainy afternoon. The woman’s voice was comfortable. The man’s hands were savvy.

I met a man there, Christian Jones, who was about to play at a winery about 20 minutes out. He invited me to join. I had never been to a winery before.
I finished my lunch and went back to the hotel to clean up. I found the winery and I’ll be gonest, I was so nervous to go in I almost missed out. You see, throughout this whole trip, I was alone. No one to chat with. No one to break the uncomfortable moments. But I buckled down and went in. Serenity Sellars.

I sat and sipped some wine straight from the fields I had seen on the way in. I listened to him play his acoustic guitar and sang along to every song because, well, I love music.

It was spectacular. I met a gal who was so pleasant. She made me get up and dance with her. She and her mom were on a girl’s trip. She was from Texas. Such a lovely lady.

I left just in time to make it to the evening church service of Andy Stanley. His sermon was on money and the control it has over us and how we are to control our money. It was powerful. I hadn’t expected any less.

After the service it was Michael Buble time!!! He had a sold out concert and I had a to let burning a hole in my pocket. I have loved his genre of music since I had learned to Frank Sinatra was.

Buble was fun to look at and even better to hear. He is so personable. His tour was LOVE. His songs were love songs. His chorus was on point. Such a magnificent time. I made friends with a lady sitting beside me. We shared facts of Bubles life in between songs. We melted when we just knew he was singing to us. His voice is powerful and I would love to see him again!

I made it back in time to see the last few songs of The Alex Meixner band. It was their last night. They thanked me for coming out all weekend and told me to come back in May. I want to and hope it works out that I can. I got a DVD to share with my son and a few t shirts and tattoos for the kids and went on my merry way.

I crawled into bed with a mind full of success, knowing I had a satisfactory time on my trip.

I woek up the next day, enjoyed a peaceful breakfast, packed up and gave Helen, Georgia a good ol German Auf Wiedersehen (goodbye)!!

I drove all the way home trying to ignore the sickness that was upon me. I had had too amazing of a weekend to have it ruined by the flu. I spent the next two weeks praying for a miracle but it was absolutely worth it.

If you are in a stagnant place in your life, save up, take the trip. You won’t regret it. I saved for 6 months and it was the time of my life. The experience was healing. More importantly I didn’t have the regret of debt hanging over my head when it was over. God has been so good to me and I will be forever grateful for this experience.

Until next time!!