Surrogacy journey 22 weeks in

I’m overwhelmed with emotions. I have had 2 pregnancies before this and NOTHING can compare. I’ve never cried this much in my life. Everything is extreme.

An interesting fact is that my life has never been this complicated either. It’s hard to tell which is causing what. All I can tell you is my mind is pure chaos.

I’m thankful for a healthy baby. I’m trying to ensure a healthy bond with baby mama. I’m trying to prepare for when baby comes and more importantly after baby leaves. I’m trying to ensure I am a good mother to my biological two.

I’m exhausted.

Mentally I cannot go on (she said dramatically). Physically I’m doing OK.

This is a whirlwind. I have approximately 18 weeks left.

I STILL do not regret a thing. But this is definitely more than I could imagine. I honestly don’t think anyone can ever grasp what the surrogacy journey will involve until they experience it for themselves.

We will continue on.

I’m thankful I can rely on God.

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow. Hoping for good news about placenta previa.

Surrogacy : Baby Eve

Well we made it. It’s the night before transfer. I have so many emotions. I’m excited. I’m nervous. I’m hopeful. I’m scared.

My son had a baseball game in town. I had to ask the concession stand for a bag of ice. Actually, I asked my daughter to ask because I got it like that. She brought me a glove full of ice. I tucked it into my suit and continued to watch the game until baby mama arrived. The glove busted so I walked to the car with a wet rear end.

The only way we could do the shot tonight is in the back seat of my car. Oh to be in the mind of those people walking by.

My daughter was big and bad and wanted to give me the shot. I told her no. She got upset. I said, how about you watch baby mama prepare it and then you decide. She’s 7.

Baby mama got the shot ready and my daughter decided not only thst she wants going to give me the shot but she couldn’t even watch.

This is it. This is the last shot before I carry the embryo. Tomorrow at 11am I will be two. Prayers appreciated. Thoughts and any other voodoo welcome also. Operation #bringbabyhome is real!

Shot shot shot

4.2.19

I did my first shot today. I woke up full of anxiety. I do not love shots. I assumed it was going to be the worst shot ever created.

I’m so dramatic.

At approximately 830 I had my first shot. It was tiny. And I survived.

I look back and laugh at how inappropriate I acted.

Isn’t that funny. I wore myself out for nothing.

I paced and pleaded to do anything but this shot.

Now for the next few weeks this is my new norm.

Baby, here we come.