God bless me.
I’m sitting in church. My children left for children’s church. I’m completely alone. I am the only one in the pugh. And I’m ever so comfortable. And it’s all because of God and His love for me. I used to have such anxiety because I had a spouse that was miserable to be there. Then it turned into I didn’t have a spouse to hold my hand. How beautiful God is to calm my soul.
God has worked a miracle in my life. I sing the songs to praise His love loud and proud. I sway back and forth. I smile and tap to the beat. I don’t feel an emmense pain in my chest. I feel a glow of God. It beams off me.
God is so good to me.
God has loved me when I am unlovable.
God is working on me daily!!!
January 3, 2019.
Mama and daddy picked me up from work so we would have time to chat before the appointment. We’ve known each other for years but we have not had a lot of personal contact. I’ve watched the couple go through so much in their journey of parenthood but that is their story to tell.
This is mine.
We hit traffic on the way there from roadwork on the interstate. We ran into closed roads. We got tickled talking about confusing downtown traffic and one way streets. We found the fertility clinic. Finally!!
We spent a time filling out paperwork then we waited. The doctor was ready for us and we went back.
Mom and dad shared their story. Doctor dis used the process with them. They shared a question and answer time. I’m so proud of mom. She’s researched so much. She’s serious and we know it. Doctor looked to me and asked me if I was good? Did I have any questions?
I did not. I told him I’m along for the ride. I’m honored to be able to help this couple. I’m blessed to give the gift of life.
Let’s do this.
He will not see us again until a legal contract is completed. Ok. Fair enough doc. See you soon.
I have desired to be a surrogate for years. I felt the pull after my son was was born because parenthood is so beautiful. I felt it heavily when a close friend of mine lost her newborn child. She ended up being able to birth a child and didn’t need my womb. My best friend was struggling with getting pregnant for years and I offered the option to her but they ended up getting divorced.
Here I am. 32 years old. A church friend of mine has gone through such a long draining emotional process of foster/adoption, ending in a very painful removal of an infant shortly after receiving the child. She had made it known she and her husband had decided on surrogacy with a donor embryo. I jumped at the opportunity. I told her I wanted to pray for a time and ask God to press in my heart what to do. I felt completely accepting to the ability to gift them a child. I asked several close friends and family and decided on yes.
This is huge.
Please respond with replies of support, disagreeance, thoughts and please oh please, if you’ve been a surrogate, get with me!!!
Let the journey begin!
Sometimes I find myself excusing behaviors that just don’t need excusing. It’s strictly because I was too lazy or too sidetracked by something more important or too just didn’t wanna do it.
I have asked God to come into my heart and prune all of that out. It’s a daily progression. I am now at the point where as soon as I think or say it, God shows me what I’m doing. I hope to get to the point where I don’t think or say it as much. Our thoughts are powerful. Just as powerful as saying it out loud.
As early as Adam and Eve, excuses existed. It wasn’t Eve’s fault, the serpent made her do it. It wasn’t Adam’s fault, Eve made him do it. What did God do?
“Where are you” – God
God knew where they were. But he wanted to make a point to make them reveal themselves to Him. Just like God wants us to reveal ourselves to Him. If we won’t admit it and see and God does, what if God doesn’t feel we are ready for the change He wants for us??
God, I ask that you prune me daily.