Life on the road.

This is my office.

My office has unhealthy fast food. My office has randomness threw around. My office is lonely.

I drive. I drive to home visits. To facilities. To hospitals. To schools.

I drive to broken homes and pray the whole way there. I drive away from those homes and pray even harder.

I love it. I love being away from the office. I love getting in there and working as hard as I know how.

I ask that if you are out there reading this, please pray that I make the best choices in all of my cases. Pray for my clients. All the family members. Pray for the clients to find healthy support.

Amen.

What is what?

I come to you today with a heavy heart. A broken soul. A tired mind.

Once again, I don’t understand.

Can life really be this hard? Can there truly be 3 complete sides to a story? Can one of us be so blinded to what is there and the other be just as blinded?

I’m on my knees. I’m begging God.

I want what God wants. I want to make my Heavenly Father proud. I want peace. But I can’t seem to get it. God, show me.

Proverbs 2: 2-4

Denial

Principle 1: Realize I’m not God. I admit that I am
powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is
unmanageable.

“Happy are those who
know they are spiritually poor.” (Matthew 5:3)

There’s a reason this is the first step. This is the shining star. You don’t accept this, you can’t recover. You know this, a whole new life opens up.

But this is the tough part. The 12 steps only work if you constantly work them. I am 10 years into recovery of my first issues. I am 3 years in recovery for the rest. I am day one in recovery for life. And tomorrow when I wake up, I will continue to admit to God that my life is unmanageable and without relying solely on God, I will fail.

Dog Park life

I travel often for my job. Not many overnight trips but definitely exhausting day trips. I get stir crazy in my car so I usually try to find nature where I can for a short “lunch break” . Often, I end up in dog parks.

Dogs are such genuinely happy creatures. Their owners are happier around them. So I come here. I sit. I ponder the life these dogs have. I ponder the life their owners have. I watch their interactions with each other. I think of my dogs at home and wish I could take them on my day trips. My dogs have to deal with a working dog mom. Poor pups.

These owners all do the typical “baby talk” to their dogs. They love it! This particular dog park has an agility course.

The dogs look to their masters with such love. That’s how I look to God. I KNOW God is going to take care of me. I go to him to be spiritually fed. I KNOW He will spiritually feed me. He will ask me to complete courses. I will trust in His guidance. He rewards me with “treats” of Grace and Mercy throughout my day. These dogs love their owners. I think mine is pretty cool, too!!!!

Hoover Dog Park in Hoover, Alabama.

My gpa

I’m not sure I’m going to make it through this without some strong emotions.

My gpa. He has one daughter,my mom. He has one wife, my gma. They are as different as night and day. They are real. They are forever.

My gpa. I don’t remember but my mom tells me I was terrified of him growing up. I remember him being around but looking back, I don’t have a lot of memories of us. Just us. My gpa tells me I cried. I stayed far from him. I was scared. Boy. Was I wrong for all of that silliness.

My gpa is my rock. He is my world. He is my universe. He is my infinity. He loves me unconditionally.

My gpa has been my teacher. He has shown me what a man is supposed to be. He shows me everything. He has LITERALLY taught me. If it wasn’t for gpa, I would have never passed any of my college math courses.

My gpa prays for me. He comforts me. He kisses me on my forehead. Life is good.

My gpa is my neighbor. My gpa is my lifeline. My gpa watches everything that happens at my house. If anyone ever pulls up, my gpa immediately texts me with the vehicle and person details.

My gpa challenges me. He never accepts what isn’t my best ro what isn’t best for me. He always strives to do his best. My main goal in life is to make him proud.

My gpa is my support. He takes responsibility for my children anytime I need him because I have a demanding job and it comes up occasionally.

My gpa is a leader. He leads my entire family. He leads the community. He is nothing short of a blessing.

My gpa

John F Beatty

“Hope now” by:Addison Road. Lyrics

If everything comes down to love
Then just what am I afraid of
When I call out Your name
Something inside awakes in my soul
How quickly I forget I’m Yours

[PRE-CHORUS]
I’m not my own
I’ve been carried by You
All my life

[CHORUS]
Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free

When my life is like a storm
Rising waters all I want is the shore
You say I’ll be ok and
Make it through the rain
You are my shelter from the storm

[PRE-CHORUS]
I’m not my own
I’ve been carried by You
All my life

[CHORUS]
Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free

[CHORUS 2]
Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free
You’ve become my hearts desire
I will sing Your praises higher
Cause Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free