This is my office.
My office has unhealthy fast food. My office has randomness threw around. My office is lonely.
I drive. I drive to home visits. To facilities. To hospitals. To schools.
I drive to broken homes and pray the whole way there. I drive away from those homes and pray even harder.
I love it. I love being away from the office. I love getting in there and working as hard as I know how.
I ask that if you are out there reading this, please pray that I make the best choices in all of my cases. Pray for my clients. All the family members. Pray for the clients to find healthy support.
I come in to work free as a bird. I sit down at my desk and instantly become chained and gagged. I have so many desires for my job. I have so many ideas. None are accepted. The system is broken. The government has an agenda and it isn’t to give the people success.
I KNOW what these clients need. I cannot give it to them. I KNOW what it would take to get these clients the help. I cannot give it to them. I AM sorry clients. I let you down daily.
You yell at me. You curse me. You tell me I don’t care. I care. I promise. I care too much. All I can do is give you the resources I’m allowed and believe me when I tell you this….. I pray for each and every one of you. I pray for your family. I pray for your well being. I pray you accept what help IS offered. I pray that you find your worth. I pray that life works for you. That’s all I can do. I’m sorry I failed you.
Society is so worried about pointing a finger at the cause of chaos and violence. Stop pointing your finger and look in the mirror.
Are we teaching our children to be dependent on another being? What about highlighting drinking as a cool way to manage stress? Children consume themselves in technology and parents don’t stop it?
Children forget how to connect with others and grow up to be secluded and incompetent. They don’t know how to manage feelings correctly. They grow up and ruin friendships and relationships until they can’t take it and turn to violence. Violence on others or themselves.
Enter stage left: Me. To clean up society’s bad choices that have now involved and inflicted harm on children.
The. Cycle. Continues.
I’m sitting here at a supervised visitation. These kids have done nothing but cause mass chaos in the two hours I have been here. The parents verbally get onto them but never follow through on a time out or remove the problem item or any other threats that are given. These children don’t say please or thank you. They don’t say yes or no ma’am. They scream and point instead of using their words. They lash out irrationally. They hurt each other. They hurt themselves.
The parents are half mentally checked out. They have no structure to behave themselves; how do I expect them to parent little thems?
The parents themselves grew up in chaos. They don’t know what anything but dysfunction looks like. I don’t expect them to live like “normal”. I just want safe. I want stable. The children deserve safe and stable.
So how do we get from one extreme to just decent? These parents are exhausted from their life’s choices that brought me here. The children are consumed by crazy being the norm.
Get sober. Get stable. Survive. Then Thrive.
Find positive support. Find somewhere to plug in. Find a better you to be. No one else can do anything for you if you don’t want to do anything for yourself.
I work day in and day out in the midst of people’s live’s shattering. No matter the circumstances, if I am in your life, you don’t want me there. I completely get it. I wouldn’t want anyone rummaging through all of my life choices that led to this point, either. But here we are. Trust me when I say this, we are all one bad choice from being right where you are. Breathe. Accept what life has been up until this very point. Sit down with me. Let those guards down that you have built so high because of past hurt and present trouble. Let me in. I AM here to help. Believe it or not, it is your decision. But I’m not going anywhere.
We have this hope for our soul; firm and secure. Hebrews 6:19.