3.4.19. I signed the final contract. It’s official. I’m going to be a vessel of hope. I’m going to give the gift of a bigger family. I’m going to give a baby to a mom and dad who are unable to do it themselves. I’m overwhelmed. I’m scared. I just want to have the healthiest baby I can. I want to have a good pregnancy. I want to be able to give the baby over appropriately when the time comes.
The clinic is giving an estimated May date for pregnancy. I will go through some hormone shots and prepping my uterus will take a few weeks, also. I’m going to be a mom. Without the mom part.
I pray for this unborn child.
January 3, 2019.
Mama and daddy picked me up from work so we would have time to chat before the appointment. We’ve known each other for years but we have not had a lot of personal contact. I’ve watched the couple go through so much in their journey of parenthood but that is their story to tell.
This is mine.
We hit traffic on the way there from roadwork on the interstate. We ran into closed roads. We got tickled talking about confusing downtown traffic and one way streets. We found the fertility clinic. Finally!!
We spent a time filling out paperwork then we waited. The doctor was ready for us and we went back.
Mom and dad shared their story. Doctor dis used the process with them. They shared a question and answer time. I’m so proud of mom. She’s researched so much. She’s serious and we know it. Doctor looked to me and asked me if I was good? Did I have any questions?
I did not. I told him I’m along for the ride. I’m honored to be able to help this couple. I’m blessed to give the gift of life.
Let’s do this.
He will not see us again until a legal contract is completed. Ok. Fair enough doc. See you soon.
On September 8, 2018, I attended the 2018 Murfeesboro “Boro Pride” Parade. I took a friend of mine who also had to write a similar paper for a separate class. We got off the interstate and took a turn toward the festivities. There were two gentlemen with signs on either side of the streets at an intersection. One of the men had a sign and a megaphone. He was reciting Bible scripture. The other man had a sign with the 10 commandments on it. I felt like they were a reasonable distance away from the parade area. I believe everyone has a right to voice their opinions in respectful ways. We found parking and started toward the event. I noticed as we walked toward the square, it wasn’t actually a parade. Everyone appeared stationary. There was a rainbow balloon archway where you walked into the event. There was a band to the left. There was a large group of people in front of the stage. We steered right. There were booths set up throughout the event. The first booth we came to was for “Reducing the stigma of HIV one conversation at a time”. The man at the tent was knowledgeable about testing. There was a testing site on the other side of the event where they prick your finger for the testing. He asked that we go get tested. At the tent, there was a bowl of peppermints, a bowl of buttons for support and a bowl of condoms. My friend and I giggled but at the same time respected the cause and I thanked him for what he was trying to accomplish. We continued on our adventure. There were several tents with rainbow pride accessories for sale. Most everyone had something rainbow on; from a headband to an entire outfit shining with glitter and color head to toe. There was a church tent that was giving away free hugs. This was one of my favorite tents. These sweet ladies were standing outside their tents, completely putting themselves out there, waiting on the next person to hug. More amazingly, the people who came by embraced them for a hug. It sent chills down my entire body knowing the two completely different sides of the gay subject coming together in a full on hug. Both parties seemed to enjoy it and seemed almost relieved and achieved that they did it. We moved on to another tent of “church people” handing out water. It was very humid and I was thankful for the water. My friend and I walked up and were offered water. We took the water bottles and I could tell on the woman’s face who handed it to me, she was praying for me. The prayer is between her and God but I appreciated whatever she had to say to God. We kept walking around, looking at all of the tents and the merchandise. I noticed a couple that were probably in their mid-50s. I only assume they were a couple. They appeared to be so happy to just be themselves. They weren’t dressed up in bling. They were wearing every day clothes. I could tell they were happy to be supporting what they believed in and more importantly, they were able to be who they were without judgement. We saw several families like this. Some held hands. Some sat back and enjoyed the entertainment. There were families with children running around, showering each other with glitter. I was happy to see the people in their element and free. We made it back around to the stage and decided to go around one more time. We felt more comfortable the next time around. We knew the area better and could maneuver the walkways. It was packed. We noticed a group of girls taking selfies in front of the Boro Pride stand. I try not to be a judge of people but at the same time, my job is to watch and learn people by their behaviors. Both my friend and I felt that there was a large chance no one in the group was gay. They spent minutes taking pictures of each other. I was glad their minds were open to the idea but I had doubts of why they were supporting the cause. Sometimes I hope I am wrong about my thoughts. When we realized they weren’t going to be done for a while, my friend and I just decided to stand beside it and take a picture for our proof of attending. We continued around the event for the last time. We noticed so many different types of people. There was a group of men who had beautiful dresses on and make up better applied than I could have ever done myself. There were groups of women who had their chests duct taped down with no shirts on. There were visibly gay family members that had their, what appeared to be, visibly not gay family members in attendance for support. I am not gay. It was uncomfortable to be around everyone. I worried that my “not gayness” was sticking out. I worried that someone would ask why I was at such an event. That did not happen. I learned that in 2018 people are trying to respect each other while still holding onto their own beliefs. I learned that there are several different levels of enjoyment at an event such as this and that is what makes the event successful in my opinion. I believe attending events such as this one, helps my mind accept all things, not just what I like and believe. If I attend events that are not in my norm, I will become more comfortable with other’s ways of life. When I work with families that are “different” than I, I will appear calm and collective and in return, the families will be comfortable and secure in the environment we are in.