Signed sealed delivered

3.4.19. I signed the final contract. It’s official. I’m going to be a vessel of hope. I’m going to give the gift of a bigger family. I’m going to give a baby to a mom and dad who are unable to do it themselves. I’m overwhelmed. I’m scared. I just want to have the healthiest baby I can. I want to have a good pregnancy. I want to be able to give the baby over appropriately when the time comes.

The clinic is giving an estimated May date for pregnancy. I will go through some hormone shots and prepping my uterus will take a few weeks, also. I’m going to be a mom. Without the mom part.

I pray for this unborn child.

Surrogate beginnings

I have desired to be a surrogate for years. I felt the pull after my son was was born because parenthood is so beautiful. I felt it heavily when a close friend of mine lost her newborn child. She ended up being able to birth a child and didn’t need my womb. My best friend was struggling with getting pregnant for years and I offered the option to her but they ended up getting divorced.

Here I am. 32 years old. A church friend of mine has gone through such a long draining emotional process of foster/adoption, ending in a very painful removal of an infant shortly after receiving the child. She had made it known she and her husband had decided on surrogacy with a donor embryo. I jumped at the opportunity. I told her I wanted to pray for a time and ask God to press in my heart what to do. I felt completely accepting to the ability to gift them a child. I asked several close friends and family and decided on yes.

This is huge.

Please respond with replies of support, disagreeance, thoughts and please oh please, if you’ve been a surrogate, get with me!!!

Let the journey begin!

Perspective

Im bubbling over with anger. I’m in a funk. I’m so frustrated and there’s no simple end to my current issues. I’ve read my Jesus Calling book. I’ve prayed about it. I still dont feel great. I’m still so frustrated.

In comes a man… legs cut off from the knee down. Paying restitution for something he didn’t do. Struggling to get in the door and struggling just as much to get out of the door.

Take that Pattie.

God says………

You whine and complain about your first world problems. You pray to me but you don’t listen. Let me slap you in the face.

Yes, Lord. I hear you Lord. My problems are not worth a day ruined. I am thankful for my health. I am thankful for my career. I am thankful to be alive. This will blow over. It is not the end of the world.

Amen.