Tag: process

Why surrogacy?

I have had so many people asking questions. Let me see if I can answer some here.

How much are you charging?

I have researched that women can make up to 40/50000 per child. I’m not doing this for the money. I asked to not have a financial gain but after discussing with my support group, we agreed that due to me having to support my two children through this process and my life completing turning upside down for 10 months, and the persuasion of my beautiful baby mama, I accepted a MUCH MUCH smaller amount. Four figures type amount. I still don’t like it. But I understand it.

How do you know each other?

I do not personally know my baby mama and father. We have gone to church together for approximately 15 years. The mother and father are part of the praise and worship band. I have enjoyed their talents for many years. Our parents are friends and our siblings are friends. I have watched their family struggle with many personal family matters that would break some of us, yet this family has stayed strong.

Why would you do this?

God says our bodies are a temple. When we give ourselves to Him, we die. We become new in Him. Everything we do should be for Him. Although I haven’t always respected my body and used it only for God’s good, I want to completely. I had thought years ago about giving my body to a family in need. I have felt such a strong pull since I had my son. Having my son was the most life-changing experience and to know there were women out there who wanted a baby of their own, but their bodies were unable, broke my heart. I have prayed since I was 21 about placing a family in my path that I could bless. I had a few families I had thought would be an option but it never worked out. It was my plan, not God’s. This situation literally fell in my lap. I am blessed to offer this opportunity to this family.

How are you going to give the baby up?

We are not our own. My children are not mine. We are all God’s. Period. Biologically this child will not have a single strand of my DNA. Physically, I will get to know this child in the most intimate ways. I will help create its heart, lungs, it’s ears, it’s fingers and toes. I prayerfully will keep this baby alive the entire time in utero. My body will be bound to its body. I will feel it’s hiccups and kicks and punches. I will talk to it. And just as beautifully, I will ask this baby to exit my body (in the most pleasant way it can see fit) and become part of a family that is not my own. That’s it.

How will you recover from this?

Again. God.

I am birthing a baby. I will have maternity leave. I will be planning some heavy family time with my children. We will more than likely be taking a trip toward the end of my recovery. I’m on the fence but leaning toward Disney. I have an amazing support system of family and friends that don’t quite get this decision

You’re putting that where?

3.14.19. 830am

I arrive at the doctor’s office early. I try so hard to be on time and early when possible, anywhere I go.

I’m starting the actual process of being a surrogate. We’ve talked, we’ve planned, we’ve discussed. Now it’s time for the real deal. Elbow grease and physical work. They draw my blood first. Not quite sure why. I’m not good at asking questions. I go back into the lobby and wait to be called. I have the worst outfit on for the event. A jumpsuit. The doctor calls me back.

There they are. The stirrups of shame. No one likes the stirrups. But we get hiked up anyway. She says, in my own words of course, use this piece of large papered blanket to cover up your down south lady spot. I said well, this is a one piece, I have court today. She said um I will get you a gown. She brings me a gown that is so unattractive and she laughs about the appearance. Like I’m going to get a hot date while I’m there. Anyway. She leaves me to undress and returns.

She assures me it won’t hurt. She just has to put this doodad in this area. Wwhhooaaaaa

I tell her it’s been a long time since I had sex so hopefully everything goes in well (in my mind I’m thinking, I hope she can get around the cobwebs.) She has a student with her so she’s explaining the process to her. I crack jokes. It’s what I do. We laugh about dating and the pool that’s available. It’s an epedimic.

Anyway.

She “scratches” my uterus, which I later find out is awfully uncomfortable for way longer than expected. She releases a syringe of water to make sure my lining is OK. She says everything looks great and of course I have to joke about putting “pristine uterus” on a dating profile. She’s excited. I’m excited. My couple is excited. I should have an embryo planted by May 1 if all goes well. She leaves the room and I put my clothes back on and leave.

Here we go!! It. Just. Got. Real. 😊