3.4.19. I signed the final contract. It’s official. I’m going to be a vessel of hope. I’m going to give the gift of a bigger family. I’m going to give a baby to a mom and dad who are unable to do it themselves. I’m overwhelmed. I’m scared. I just want to have the healthiest baby I can. I want to have a good pregnancy. I want to be able to give the baby over appropriately when the time comes.
The clinic is giving an estimated May date for pregnancy. I will go through some hormone shots and prepping my uterus will take a few weeks, also. I’m going to be a mom. Without the mom part.
I pray for this unborn child.
I have desired to be a surrogate for years. I felt the pull after my son was was born because parenthood is so beautiful. I felt it heavily when a close friend of mine lost her newborn child. She ended up being able to birth a child and didn’t need my womb. My best friend was struggling with getting pregnant for years and I offered the option to her but they ended up getting divorced.
Here I am. 32 years old. A church friend of mine has gone through such a long draining emotional process of foster/adoption, ending in a very painful removal of an infant shortly after receiving the child. She had made it known she and her husband had decided on surrogacy with a donor embryo. I jumped at the opportunity. I told her I wanted to pray for a time and ask God to press in my heart what to do. I felt completely accepting to the ability to gift them a child. I asked several close friends and family and decided on yes.
This is huge.
Please respond with replies of support, disagreeance, thoughts and please oh please, if you’ve been a surrogate, get with me!!!
Let the journey begin!
A supervisor once told me “don’t wait until you’re 20 years in to realize what you should have done 20 years ago.”
Social work can take a lot out of you. Matter of fact, it can take everything you have. Approximately 30-45% of child welfare staff leaves within two years (scribd.com). It will do the same to you too, if you aren’t aware and prepared.
Social work isn’t the only job like this, of course. Some others are law enforcement, nursing, and pastoral staff just to name a few.
Helping people is exhausting. It isn’t numbers. It’s people’s lives. It isn’t the same day in, day out. It’s different every time you get to work. It doesn’t end when you leave work. The big man wants more of you than you can ever give. Nothing is ever good enough. Someone, somewhere, needs your assistance.
Take a step back. It’s OK. You need not feel guilty. You actually help your cause when you take a break every once in a while. Let go of the guilt and let go of the day. Don’t plan much. Just be. Be you. Do you remember who you are? If not, find you.
I take a day off here and there. No big plans; just to have a day. A lot of times I spend it with my kiddos. Some days I send them off to school and I may not get out of bed. Or I may reorganize my closet. Or I may go grocery shopping and actually get to think about meal planning while I do it.
The key is to not feel bad about needing a day. Self-care. Care for yourself. Who else is responsible for getting that one job done? No one else but you. Take responsibility and DO IT!!!!!!! I’ve got my day scheduled for July. Do you?