I’m sitting here at a supervised visitation. These kids have done nothing but cause mass chaos in the two hours I have been here. The parents verbally get onto them but never follow through on a time out or remove the problem item or any other threats that are given. These children don’t say please or thank you. They don’t say yes or no ma’am. They scream and point instead of using their words. They lash out irrationally. They hurt each other. They hurt themselves.

The parents are half mentally checked out. They have no structure to behave themselves; how do I expect them to parent little thems?

The parents themselves grew up in chaos. They don’t know what anything but dysfunction looks like. I don’t expect them to live like “normal”. I just want safe. I want stable. The children deserve safe and stable.

So how do we get from one extreme to just decent? These parents are exhausted from their life’s choices that brought me here. The children are consumed by crazy being the norm.

Get sober. Get stable. Survive. Then Thrive.

Find positive support. Find somewhere to plug in. Find a better you to be. No one else can do anything for you if you don’t want to do anything for yourself.


I work day in and day out in the midst of people’s live’s shattering. No matter the circumstances, if I am in your life, you don’t want me there. I completely get it. I wouldn’t want anyone rummaging through all of my life choices that led to this point, either. But here we are. Trust me when I say this, we are all one bad choice from being right where you are. Breathe. Accept what life has been up until this very point. Sit down with me. Let those guards down that you have built so high because of past hurt and present trouble. Let me in. I AM here to help. Believe it or not, it is your decision. But I’m not going anywhere.

We have this hope for our soul; firm and secure. Hebrews 6:19.