Surrogacy : scared but hopeful

I had an incident yesterday. Around 11 o clock I had to go to the bathroom. Blood dumped out. I’ve never had this happen.

I called baby mama. I called doctor. I called my OB.

My baby mama got there in record time. We sat, she cried, I held her. This is all such a whirlwind. We Googled and pondered and Googled some more.

The fertility clinic couldn’t see me until the following morning.

We decided to go to the Emergency Room.

We didn’t have to wait long. My grandfather came and sat with us. He’s a Saint if there ever was one.

We went to a private room. They decided due to symptoms they would put use a catheter and put an IV. We then had an ultrasound.

There was a gestational sack and a yolk but no pole or heartbeat. My hcg levels were high, 13991. The nurse came in and discharged us with more questions than we had answers.

We meet at baby mamas home this morning and ride together. We talk about all the things. Her teaching at the end of the school year problems, my eating habits, etc. We arrive to the fertility clinic and sign in. We are both a nervous wreck.

I get my blood drawn and we go to room #2. Our crnp comes in and vaginally scans me. She sees the sack, the pole, the yolk. She just can’t see a heartbeat.

She wants to believe she saw a flicker but she just can’t say. She wants us to come back Friday but due to it being only 2 days, she opts for Monday…..until we realize Monday is Memorial Day…. Tuesday it is…… That’s basically 202697 forevers.

This is all we know.

If I begin to bleed again, I will go back to the emergency room. If not, we will have definite answers Tuesday.

Always stay prayin’

SURROGACY : It’s positive

Hello everybody! It’s me Pattie.Guess what? I’m going to have a baby.

I am over the moon excited for Mommy and Daddy! I started taking pregnancy test after day 2 because clearly I’m crazy. I started to get discouraged and started realizing why everybody told me not to take pregnancy test.

Friday, day 5, I started to notice a faint pink line. Every day after the pink line got darker and darker.I went for a blood test this morning and I got the call this afternoon. The beta is positive ladies and gentlemen it worked!!! Words cannot describe what I feel. Overwhelmed with joy! For those of you that listen to Christian radio, I called the Wally Show and announced it on the show.

I did not use my real name because the mom and the dad have not announced the information yet. It felt good to be able to announce it and I cannot wait until I can be open about this this is such a beautiful experience I have no words to express what I feel.

Signed,

Real Life Baby mama

Surrogacy : Baby Eve

Well we made it. It’s the night before transfer. I have so many emotions. I’m excited. I’m nervous. I’m hopeful. I’m scared.

My son had a baseball game in town. I had to ask the concession stand for a bag of ice. Actually, I asked my daughter to ask because I got it like that. She brought me a glove full of ice. I tucked it into my suit and continued to watch the game until baby mama arrived. The glove busted so I walked to the car with a wet rear end.

The only way we could do the shot tonight is in the back seat of my car. Oh to be in the mind of those people walking by.

My daughter was big and bad and wanted to give me the shot. I told her no. She got upset. I said, how about you watch baby mama prepare it and then you decide. She’s 7.

Baby mama got the shot ready and my daughter decided not only thst she wants going to give me the shot but she couldn’t even watch.

This is it. This is the last shot before I carry the embryo. Tomorrow at 11am I will be two. Prayers appreciated. Thoughts and any other voodoo welcome also. Operation #bringbabyhome is real!

Why surrogacy?

I have had so many people asking questions. Let me see if I can answer some here.

How much are you charging?

I have researched that women can make up to 40/50000 per child. I’m not doing this for the money. I asked to not have a financial gain but after discussing with my support group, we agreed that due to me having to support my two children through this process and my life completing turning upside down for 10 months, and the persuasion of my beautiful baby mama, I accepted a MUCH MUCH smaller amount. Four figures type amount. I still don’t like it. But I understand it.

How do you know each other?

I do not personally know my baby mama and father. We have gone to church together for approximately 15 years. The mother and father are part of the praise and worship band. I have enjoyed their talents for many years. Our parents are friends and our siblings are friends. I have watched their family struggle with many personal family matters that would break some of us, yet this family has stayed strong.

Why would you do this?

God says our bodies are a temple. When we give ourselves to Him, we die. We become new in Him. Everything we do should be for Him. Although I haven’t always respected my body and used it only for God’s good, I want to completely. I had thought years ago about giving my body to a family in need. I have felt such a strong pull since I had my son. Having my son was the most life-changing experience and to know there were women out there who wanted a baby of their own, but their bodies were unable, broke my heart. I have prayed since I was 21 about placing a family in my path that I could bless. I had a few families I had thought would be an option but it never worked out. It was my plan, not God’s. This situation literally fell in my lap. I am blessed to offer this opportunity to this family.

How are you going to give the baby up?

We are not our own. My children are not mine. We are all God’s. Period. Biologically this child will not have a single strand of my DNA. Physically, I will get to know this child in the most intimate ways. I will help create its heart, lungs, it’s ears, it’s fingers and toes. I prayerfully will keep this baby alive the entire time in utero. My body will be bound to its body. I will feel it’s hiccups and kicks and punches. I will talk to it. And just as beautifully, I will ask this baby to exit my body (in the most pleasant way it can see fit) and become part of a family that is not my own. That’s it.

How will you recover from this?

Again. God.

I am birthing a baby. I will have maternity leave. I will be planning some heavy family time with my children. We will more than likely be taking a trip toward the end of my recovery. I’m on the fence but leaning toward Disney. I have an amazing support system of family and friends that don’t quite get this decision

Shot shot shot

4.2.19

I did my first shot today. I woke up full of anxiety. I do not love shots. I assumed it was going to be the worst shot ever created.

I’m so dramatic.

At approximately 830 I had my first shot. It was tiny. And I survived.

I look back and laugh at how inappropriate I acted.

Isn’t that funny. I wore myself out for nothing.

I paced and pleaded to do anything but this shot.

Now for the next few weeks this is my new norm.

Baby, here we come.

Real

The medication has been ordered. It will be shipped to my door.

Wow. Talk about service.

This just got real folks.

I think I’ve said that for every step of this process.

I can’t stand needles. I have never been able to manage it. From the time I was a little girl to the time last week my blood was drawn. But that is why I’m that much more excited to do this for this couple. Every needle that gets jabbed into my fatty muscle means one step closer for my couple to have their dream.

I accidentally Internet searched IVF because I had a question about night time shots.

BAD IDEA FOLKS!!

It overwhelmed me slightly. But at the end of the day God’s got me through this. I don’t need a man for support. I don’t need a huge support of friends. I have a family. I have my “baby mama”. I have the “knowing” this gift is about to be a reality.

I am so ready for this. The shots are only a small part of it. I will make it through the shots and I will be implanted. I will pray all day every day for the baby to grow in my womb.

God knows us even before the womb. So God already knows these babies.

How beautiful is that?

Tata for now! 💜