I just want a back rub. I want a person’s touch on my body. I want to feel a release of this stress I’m holding so tightly to. I want to cuddle. I want to spoon. I want intimacy. I want comfort. I want security.
But I don’t want it with just anyone. And I don’t want it without God.
I don’t want someone to tell me why I’m doing or not doing something the right way. I want this world to understand something it more than likely never will. I want an understanding of where I am in life and what I’m trying to accomplish.
I’ve heard it before and I will pass it along. Being with no one is so much better than being with the wrong one.
Life is about time. We have all the time but yet our time is always disappearing. I want my time to be appropriate. I want what’s right.
I don’t know what that means right now. But I know I don’t want to move.
God please keep this true to my heart.
This is how I spent my mother’s day!! We cooked shrimp, bologna, taters and peas on an open fire and a nice thin rock. We relaxed in the hammocks. We just enjoyed God’s gift to us. Nature. I am blessed.
You ever notice holidays are a trap? Everything HAS to occur at THIS time and this EXACT way and blah blah blah.
I learned a long time ago, it’s who you are with and the quality of time spent. Not exact details and times.
I was young. Elementary aged. Half of my family was in El Paso, Texas. The other in Alabama. We spent one Christmas in Bama. The other in Texas. And you know, I never noticed where I was the exact day of Christmas. All I remember is having an abundance of family time and lovin.
Fast forward to now. I’m divorced. My children have a whole other set of family, some that I don’t even know about. My children love their other family. I want them to.
It’s important to me for them to have the best time.
So. Don’t let the holiday consume you. Enjoy who you have, when you have them!
This is my office.
My office has unhealthy fast food. My office has randomness threw around. My office is lonely.
I drive. I drive to home visits. To facilities. To hospitals. To schools.
I drive to broken homes and pray the whole way there. I drive away from those homes and pray even harder.
I love it. I love being away from the office. I love getting in there and working as hard as I know how.
I ask that if you are out there reading this, please pray that I make the best choices in all of my cases. Pray for my clients. All the family members. Pray for the clients to find healthy support.
My name is Pattie. I am a most grateful believer in MY Jesus Christ.
I struggle with mind chaos that comes from childhood sexual abuse, substance abuse, codependency, anger, procrastination, depression and anxiety.
I lvoe my God.
Principle 1: Realize I’m not God. I admit that I am
powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is
“Happy are those who
know they are spiritually poor.” (Matthew 5:3)
There’s a reason this is the first step. This is the shining star. You don’t accept this, you can’t recover. You know this, a whole new life opens up.
But this is the tough part. The 12 steps only work if you constantly work them. I am 10 years into recovery of my first issues. I am 3 years in recovery for the rest. I am day one in recovery for life. And tomorrow when I wake up, I will continue to admit to God that my life is unmanageable and without relying solely on God, I will fail.