SURROGACY : It’s positive

Hello everybody! It’s me Pattie.Guess what? I’m going to have a baby.

I am over the moon excited for Mommy and Daddy! I started taking pregnancy test after day 2 because clearly I’m crazy. I started to get discouraged and started realizing why everybody told me not to take pregnancy test.

Friday, day 5, I started to notice a faint pink line. Every day after the pink line got darker and darker.I went for a blood test this morning and I got the call this afternoon. The beta is positive ladies and gentlemen it worked!!! Words cannot describe what I feel. Overwhelmed with joy! For those of you that listen to Christian radio, I called the Wally Show and announced it on the show.

I did not use my real name because the mom and the dad have not announced the information yet. It felt good to be able to announce it and I cannot wait until I can be open about this this is such a beautiful experience I have no words to express what I feel.

Signed,

Real Life Baby mama

Surrogacy Journey :after implantation

It’s been 4 days. 4 long excruciating days. They talk about this. The 2 week wait. Nothing will prepare you for it though.

I’m not a worry wart normally, but so much is riding on this. So much happiness. I have found myself very distracted. I just want it to work.”they” say, don’t test. You’ll make yourself crazy.

Hi.I’m crazy.

So I’ve taken 3. Because I’m out of control. All say negative. It’s honestly too early to tell. I have a blood test Friday morning. I should wait until then. But I don’t.I have continued taking my estrogen and doing my estrogen shots.

I had a security detail at an Aaron Lewis concert last night and had to manage a shot in between. It didn’t end well.I’m not certain what happened but I can tell you it hurts.Anyway. 4 days since implantation and I’m a nervous wreck.

Y’all pray for me and bebe embryo.

It went down. Way down. Way south.

IMPLANTATION DAY!

We made it.

I woke up too early. I tried to work but was not successful. I got my children ready for school and out the door. I spent extra time getting ready. I tried to embrace the entire morning. I got myself a bologna biscuit with extra mustar. Ate some candy, stopped for coffee and chat time and was on my way to the clinic by 10.

On the ride in, emotions began to flow. I’m doing this. We are doing this.

How beautiful.

We thawed 2 embryos. One was struggling and the next did better.

The doctor asked me about putting two embryos to ensure success. I have two children and a very demanding job. I just can’t do two embryos. I had emmense guilt but I declined.

My father and baby mama were in the room with me.

I, like always, cracked jokes to ease the tension.

The process wasn’t intense at all. It was more emotional than anything. The doctor, whom I had never met until today, implanted the embryo. We were able to see a small puff of air to know where it had been implanted. Baby BB is officially implanted in my uterus. Let the praying begin.

Boom.

Baby mama showered me and my two children with gifts. She is so special.

We stood in the parking lot and held each other. She placed her hand on my tummy while I held her and she prayed.

We are all so blessed to experience this.

God’s will be done.

We all go our separate ways. I go to my house to enjoy an afternoon of bedrest. My mother comes by. My grandmother and grandfather come by. It feels good to share this experience with my family. My grandfather ended up leaving my mother, my grandmother and I to our “girl talk”. We chatted about many things. I embrace these moments.

My grandmother left and my children came home from school. They were extremely interested in this journey and my daughter asked where the baby was. My sister in law, brother and children came by briefly. They checked on me and took my daughter for a few hours.

My baby mama came over to do my daily progesterone shot and stayed a while to chat. We have bonded and I enjoy getting to know her in this manner. I pray for her and this baby to be united as a family.

She had to go home and grade papers. We hugged and she left.

My mother discussed in several moments how cluttered my house was. Mom’s are grand huh? She means well. We snuggled in the bed. We ate snacks. She cleaned my sink, made dinner and left.

What a beautiful day!

Surrogacy : Baby Eve

Well we made it. It’s the night before transfer. I have so many emotions. I’m excited. I’m nervous. I’m hopeful. I’m scared.

My son had a baseball game in town. I had to ask the concession stand for a bag of ice. Actually, I asked my daughter to ask because I got it like that. She brought me a glove full of ice. I tucked it into my suit and continued to watch the game until baby mama arrived. The glove busted so I walked to the car with a wet rear end.

The only way we could do the shot tonight is in the back seat of my car. Oh to be in the mind of those people walking by.

My daughter was big and bad and wanted to give me the shot. I told her no. She got upset. I said, how about you watch baby mama prepare it and then you decide. She’s 7.

Baby mama got the shot ready and my daughter decided not only thst she wants going to give me the shot but she couldn’t even watch.

This is it. This is the last shot before I carry the embryo. Tomorrow at 11am I will be two. Prayers appreciated. Thoughts and any other voodoo welcome also. Operation #bringbabyhome is real!

Next phase of surrogacy

I finished my last round of blood work and ultrasound appointment. Everything is on schedule. I had a panicked week thinking my body ovulated but it was a false alarm. I did not. We are on to progesterone shots. The embryo will be implanted Wednesday.

BABY IMPLANTED IN JUST A FEW DAYS!

Baby mama came to my office this morning and ever so gently gave me my first (huge) shot. She is so kind and loving. I’m honored to give her this gift that she so deserves to enjoy.

I promised to be honest in my blog.

Honesty in 3….2…1….

There have been some side effects I knew but couldn’t prepare for and some have been unexpected….

I have a strange emotion that has popped up. I understand why those who have gone before me have mentioned loneliness. I signed up for this. This is my decision. With that responsibility I feel I have to hide my side effects so my environment won’t throw it up in my face “you did this to yourself”. I caught myself crying in my office. So alone. Crying for many reasons, none of which are worthy of tears.

I am still just so excited to be on this journey. I don’t regret a second of it. I’m ready for the next step.

But it is complicated trying to live my chaotic, everchanging, life, while simultaneously preparing for baby.

God is in control always. I pray my insecurities calm down. I pray God comes and washes my mind of negativity about my current choices.

I pray for my hormone levels. I’m glad they are irate because that means my body is accepting of the medication. I pray it continues to follow the schedule. I pray for a successful implantation and pregnancy.

I also selfishly pray for my heart as I am broken and trying every day to work on me. I pray God restores love. I pray I am forever making Him proud on Earth.

I pray for my support. I pray they are loving to me and do not leave me. I pray I appreciate and respect them.

Why surrogacy?

I have had so many people asking questions. Let me see if I can answer some here.

How much are you charging?

I have researched that women can make up to 40/50000 per child. I’m not doing this for the money. I asked to not have a financial gain but after discussing with my support group, we agreed that due to me having to support my two children through this process and my life completing turning upside down for 10 months, and the persuasion of my beautiful baby mama, I accepted a MUCH MUCH smaller amount. Four figures type amount. I still don’t like it. But I understand it.

How do you know each other?

I do not personally know my baby mama and father. We have gone to church together for approximately 15 years. The mother and father are part of the praise and worship band. I have enjoyed their talents for many years. Our parents are friends and our siblings are friends. I have watched their family struggle with many personal family matters that would break some of us, yet this family has stayed strong.

Why would you do this?

God says our bodies are a temple. When we give ourselves to Him, we die. We become new in Him. Everything we do should be for Him. Although I haven’t always respected my body and used it only for God’s good, I want to completely. I had thought years ago about giving my body to a family in need. I have felt such a strong pull since I had my son. Having my son was the most life-changing experience and to know there were women out there who wanted a baby of their own, but their bodies were unable, broke my heart. I have prayed since I was 21 about placing a family in my path that I could bless. I had a few families I had thought would be an option but it never worked out. It was my plan, not God’s. This situation literally fell in my lap. I am blessed to offer this opportunity to this family.

How are you going to give the baby up?

We are not our own. My children are not mine. We are all God’s. Period. Biologically this child will not have a single strand of my DNA. Physically, I will get to know this child in the most intimate ways. I will help create its heart, lungs, it’s ears, it’s fingers and toes. I prayerfully will keep this baby alive the entire time in utero. My body will be bound to its body. I will feel it’s hiccups and kicks and punches. I will talk to it. And just as beautifully, I will ask this baby to exit my body (in the most pleasant way it can see fit) and become part of a family that is not my own. That’s it.

How will you recover from this?

Again. God.

I am birthing a baby. I will have maternity leave. I will be planning some heavy family time with my children. We will more than likely be taking a trip toward the end of my recovery. I’m on the fence but leaning toward Disney. I have an amazing support system of family and friends that don’t quite get this decision