I’ve held off on posting my real emotions. This is a delicate situation. 38 weeks pregnant. No spouse. No responsibilities after baby arrives. A family in waiting for their forever blessing to arrive. Nothing about this pregnancy is what society calls normal.
I started blogging this journey for anyone out there who may want to experience surrogacy but I also have to be mindful that many lives are involved.
With that being said, I’m exhausted. I am taking care of a household and children. I’m uncomfortable standing, sitting, laying, bending, anything really. I have mentioned it slightly before but I’m going to tell you…. When they tell you to do a psychological evaluation and counseling beforehand, this is why. It takes more out of you than a “regular” pregnancy.
I don’t mean to but somehow I end up feeling secluded and nothing more than an object to get someone to their destination. I feel I have to fight for my voice to be heard in some scenarios and I feel a bother in others.
These are just fleeting emotions (I tell myself to try and “snap” out of it).
I just left the hospital. I had to register and get a check due to my doctor being out of town. Everything is good. Contracting but not dilated enough to be admitted. I will be induced next week. It’s surreal. She will be here and into her mom and dad’s arms next week. We only have ONE more week. We can do this!!!!!
I have 3 weeks off work paid to rest and heal.
I believe I will feel much better in a few weeks.
I’m hoping I have some help when I get home from the hospital. It takes a lot to manage a household, much more after you deliver a baby.
I called a house cleaning agency. They wanted 230 bucks for a deep cleaning. WHAT??? looks like I need to go into that business. Ha.
Alls well. Baby’s healthy. This is what matters.
We continue on!!!!!