Learn it easy or hard?

HARD for $500, Alex!

 

I like  to do things the hard way. I don’t know why. I look at others who make life easy for themselves and I covet their thought processes.  I. Can’t. Do. Easy.  I always have a better way of doing things than what God (or anyone else for that matter)  is directing me to do.  Go ahead. Ask me.  Ask me HOW LIFE IS WORKING OUT FOR ME!?!?!?  You know what the beauty is about God’s love……..My life is still working out for me (mostly).  Even after I make mistakes and go my own hard headed way……HE still shows me love and shows me mercy!!!!!!!!!  But the in between is rough.  The time where God loves me so much that he allows me to make these choices.  He watches me squirm when it DOES NOT work out.  He allows me GRACE in the midst.

I was a quiet child. I was shy.  I didn’t enjoy socializing.  I could go into detail on why that could be but I’m not a psychiatrist, so I know that I don’t know.   I didn’t like to ask permission. The thought of being told NO stressed me out.  So I just did it.  I was the youngest of 3 and a lot of the time, my actions went unnoticed.  This followed me into my teen years.  I did what my parents asked of me…to a certain point….the rest was hidden from light (Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of Him of whom we must give account Hebrews 4:13).  I disobeyed my parents. I disobeyed my teachers. I disobeyed God. On a daily basis.  My life stayed in constant turmoil.  I lived in my very own hell.  I moved out when I was 17.  I quit school when I was 17.  I moved to Nashville and into a brand new hell, when I was 17.  I birthed a child in turmoil.  I started a marriage in turmoil. I birthed another child in turmoil. I divorced in turmoil. I had soul ties in turmoil.  I was an employee in turmoil.  Do you see where I’m going?  Do you know where I am now?  RESTORED.  God.  Restores.  All.

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