Step family. Still family.

I have been a part of a split family for almost 10 years. I have been a part of another split family for 5 years. I was a step parent and my children have a step mom (or live in female parent). One day when I marry again for the second time, there will be a whole other dimension.

I can tell you 10 years in, I have made more mistakes than I can count and I have learned so much.

I remember when I was pregnant with my son, I was in turmoil. All I knew is I had lived one heck of a crazy life up until I saw that extra line on the urine-soaked stick. My life finally had direction. Nothing I had ever done up to that point mattered anymore. I was going to be a mommy no matter who wanted to stop it. I went to my mother’s work and a coworker of hers told me:

“Don’t ever use your child as a tool against their father!”

I respect that coworker and I respected what they had said. I made a promise to do the best I could to never do that. My son turns 10 this year. 10!!!!!! And no matter the struggles that his father and I have endured, I have never said a cross word to my son and I try my hardest to follow my mentor’s thoughts. My son thinks his father is cool beans and I love that he does.

My daughter will turn 7 this year. Her father and I divorced when she was 3. She loves her daddy with all of her heart. I will never ever get in the way of that. Her father and I do not see eye to eye but I know he loves her and that’s enough for me.

My children will grow up and no matter what they feel, they can never say I was disrespectful about their daddy.

My children have more family than they know what to do with. My children never go without anything. For this, I am blessed.

There are times when we all want to choke each other. Society has this idea that splitting makes everything go away. NO SILLY, think on it. You couldn’t agree on life together, so now you want to agree on life, separately?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? That is why you have to take yourself out of the equation. Divorce (with children) just means you take your PERSONAL feelings out of the raising of your children. You do that and you will be successful in co-parenting!!!!