Isn’t rainbows and unicorn farts.
I had this idea that all I had to do is get sober. I slipped up a time or two. We all can relapse. But then. Oh my my my. What a beautiful feeling. I am SOBER. I fought off the demon that is substance abuse. What? No victory dance? Well, why not? Ohhhhhh because that was the easy part!!!
Getting sober is only the beginning. Now I must endure a life long struggle. It’s my honor to struggle sober. Don’t get me wrong. But whew. It’s a doozy. No one abuses substances just simply because. We use because it falsely takes the pain away. The pain that goes deeper than any drug or sip of alcohol. I am 10 years clean and still working through my recovery. I took away the mask. I took away my crutch. Here I am. Bare. I scrounge around some days, desperately looking for my coping skills.
I have to remember, “I” am in recovery, not the majority of folks I deal with daily. They don’t know I have achieved so much. They don’t know I have fought passed myself. They don’t know where I stand today, I shouldn’t be standing at all.
I work every day to improve my handling on situations. I lay my head down every single night and am thankful that I will remember it the next day. Some days that has to be enough. Every day IS enough.