The pain of loss

Uuupppddaaatteeeee 10.10.18::: I read Jesus Calling. I try to read it in my mornings but sometimes I don’t make it. Take a look at what yesterday’s daily devotion was. Wow. Same day I wrote this complaint. God is so good to show me what I need to work on and I’m absolutely blessed for it….

I’ve lost so much. I try not to focus on it all the time. Everyone loses. That’s part of life. But lately I’ve just felt it all so hard.

I lost innocence. I lost love. I lost friendship. Sometimes tied up in one incident. Sometimes back to back.

I’ve had family I feel were lost. I’ve had friends that I thought were family to disappear.

I am surrounded by so many. But the feeling I feel is strong. I feel I’ve lost those whom I thought were closest to me.

I’m a trustworthy person. When someone constantly questions that, it’s so hard to walk away, but it becomes the only option.

I’m a person who loves to be there for someone, but when people are constantly not there for me, it hurts so much.

Lord hear my whines. Lord calm my soul.

Amen.