Category: love I guess

The pain of loss

October 9, 2018

love I guess

Uuupppddaaatteeeee 10.10.18::: I read Jesus Calling. I try to read it in my mornings but sometimes I don’t make it. Take a look at what yesterday’s daily devotion was. Wow. Same day I wrote this complaint. God is so good to show me what I need to work on and I’m absolutely blessed for it….

I’ve lost so much. I try not to focus on it all the time. Everyone loses. That’s part of life. But lately I’ve just felt it all so hard.

I lost innocence. I lost love. I lost friendship. Sometimes tied up in one incident. Sometimes back to back.

I’ve had family I feel were lost. I’ve had friends that I thought were family to disappear.

I am surrounded by so many. But the feeling I feel is strong. I feel I’ve lost those whom I thought were closest to me.

I’m a trustworthy person. When someone constantly questions that, it’s so hard to walk away, but it becomes the only option.

I’m a person who loves to be there for someone, but when people are constantly not there for me, it hurts so much.

Lord hear my whines. Lord calm my soul.

Amen.

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God loves you. God loves them too.

August 17, 2018

love I guess

When you surrender your hurt to God, truly release it, a fresh new perspective takes its place. God loves you. So much. God loves anyone that has ever hurt you just as much. We are all sinners. We all fall short. My mistakes and downfalls are no greater or less than yours. If we can truly accept what Jesus tries to teach us, we will be able to sail through life in a much happier place. Let go of victim mentality. Let go of what someone did to you and accept that you have probably hurt people before in your life too. How can YOU become bigger and better than before. This is what life is all about. Don’t drag someone through the mud. Rise above. Be the grace you want others to have for you. We all feel pain. Sadness. Loneliness. Fear. We all want unconditional love. Show unconditional love by forgiving. God doesn’t tell us to be ran over and beat down. But he does tell us to let go and let God.

Amen.

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Soul searchin

July 25, 2018

love I guess

My heart is so broken. My heart is so sad. My body aches with pain. I’ve gone over and over and over. What could I have done different? What did I do so wrong? What did I miss? How can a single heart take what I have put mine through.

All I know is to seek God. He fulfills me. He is my all. He doesn’t want me to hurt. He doesn’t want me to live in agony. He wants me to ask myself what I am going to do to heal.

I don’t know.

I can only be responsible for me. I can pray for God to work in others lives but it’s not my cross to bear. I have to ask what I can do to improve. I have to find forgiveness. I have to find peace. I have to dive into my Heavenly Father’s arms and ask that he hold me so tight. I am enough. His love for me is enough.

Amen.

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Excuses

July 13, 2018

love I guess

Sometimes I find myself excusing behaviors that just don’t need excusing. It’s strictly because I was too lazy or too sidetracked by something more important or too just didn’t wanna do it.

I have asked God to come into my heart and prune all of that out. It’s a daily progression. I am now at the point where as soon as I think or say it, God shows me what I’m doing. I hope to get to the point where I don’t think or say it as much. Our thoughts are powerful. Just as powerful as saying it out loud.

As early as Adam and Eve, excuses existed. It wasn’t Eve’s fault, the serpent made her do it. It wasn’t Adam’s fault, Eve made him do it. What did God do?

“Where are you” – God

God knew where they were. But he wanted to make a point to make them reveal themselves to Him. Just like God wants us to reveal ourselves to Him. If we won’t admit it and see and God does, what if God doesn’t feel we are ready for the change He wants for us??

God, I ask that you prune me daily.

Amen.

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Perception

June 28, 2018

love I guess

I read something the other day that resounded with me. It said it does not matter how we perceive ourselves if other people perceive us differently.

Again, a balance is needed to understand that. It’s not that we should care what others think more than what we think of ourselves but if you notice a pattern of how people perceive you, there may be something to it. You may be missing something you are doing that you don’t notice.

That’s OK to admit. It’s human nature. And if you don’t admit it, you’ll live in insanity. Doing the same thing over and over and over and over expecting different results.

Accept constructive criticism as a way to build a better you. Accept that you aren’t perfect. Accept that your intentions may be good but your ability to get that out sucks. And that’s OK. If we were all perfect life would be boring. Sometimes I suck, but I improve. And I’m happy with that!! 🙂

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2am and anxious

March 17, 2018

love I guess

How important is your side? How important is my side? We are made for relationship. Please explain to me then, why it is so complicated? Why does it feel as if the more you try, the worse it ends up?

These are the wrong questions to ask!

“Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

Now riddle me this. Do we follow this when things go great? Yes. Do we follow this when we run into trouble? No.

How can one get from, my feelings got hurt so now I’m angry, to a mind open to love. The answer is simple. God. God’s love has to be number one. That way, it’s not your side or my side, it’s God’s side.

…..God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no FEAR in love. But perfect love drives out FEAR, because FEAR has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. I John 4:16-18

Think back on all the times you’ve been angry. It’s more than likely been driven by fear. Fear of an unknown future (and quite possible even more fueled by an cluttered past) causes us to forget love. Chaos ensues.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will GUARD your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ. Philippians 4:6,7

So here we are. We have verses that soothe our souls. We are to think about things that are true, noble right, pure, lovely and admirable. We are to drive out fear by our love for God. We are to let go of anxiety and pray.

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Category: love I guess

The pain of loss

God loves you. God loves them too.

Soul searchin

Excuses

Perception

2am and anxious