Learning to live in this world through HOPE

New life changes.

June 16, 2018

police life dispatching

Hey everyone!!!!!!!!!

Personal status update.

I have been accepted to the Masters of Social Work program at a university around here!!

Secondly, I started a second job, a past job resurfaced, today. I am dispatching for a local sheriff office. I didn’t necessarily WANT a second job but I have been forced into it due to financial situations. I’m absolutely blessed to be able to have a second job that pays more than minimum wage AND, drum roll please, I only have to work when my children are at their dads.

Ive had a pretty stressful few months but I’m working really hard to do the best I can. I’m diving into God’s word and praying that God’s will will shine through in my life.

God is so good.

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Hope in strange places

June 15, 2018

I WAS raised in a barn

I was recently divorced. I didn’t have a clue what was going on. My entire world was spinning. The hurt. The confusion. The questioning. I had this strong pull in my heart and I knew it was God. My mind and my soul were on different tracks. I wanted so bad to be what God wanted. I had NO idea how to do it. I had been in SMALL groups. I had attended church regularly. I had served. I had been reading in God’s Word. I had improved my life so much.

It wasn’t the right way.

I put my whole faith into part of a Hebrews verse. I had struggled for so long with insecurity. I found peace in this verse. I cherished this verse.

Hebrews 6:19.
We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.

I believed in Hope. I just couldn’t quite grasp what I needed to do. I was still living in this world. I wasn’t giving my entire life to God. And it showed.

I decided to get a tattoo. Tattoos have always been an important part of my healing. Please don’t correct me if you think I’m wrong. God gave me this temple to use for His good. I believe I am doing so. Anywho, I digress.

I went to the local shop. There was a few artists there that I trusted with forever ink on my body. For this, I chose someone I had never used but I believed in his work and I had known him from us being from a small town. He was an anthiest. I wouldn’t have told you normally, but it has everything to do with my story.

He’s sitting there, stabbing needles into my skin, chatting with me. Folks out there with no tattoos, it’s the same idea as going to get your hair done. Small chat but the more you know the person, the more chatting occurs.

He asked, why choose this tattoo? I explained a very surface explanation. I told him God was God and that was it. He asked about the Bible. I was embarrassed because I didn’t have much to say. He told me if it was my faith, I should really put it as a priority to learn everything I could. He was kind in his thoughts. He was genuine in his purpose. I forever am grateful for God using him to slap me in the face. And permanently color my skin, of course. Ha.

That day changed my life.

I had no idea but I do now. Hope means everything to me. It’s what I hold onto when I am waiting for an answer to something I have been dreaming of. I use it when I pray to God about my future desires. I truly believe the hope I have in God, will get me exactly where I need to be.

Faith questioned by an anthiest. He told me to get my butt in gear. And I did.

God bless EVERYONE.

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God pats ya good

June 15, 2018

I WAS raised in a barn

I’m over here speaking praises.

God has really opened my eyes to things I had struggled seeing before. I’ve come so far, but oh my, do I have so far to go. I will say it again, every day is a new day to become better than you were the day before.

I have really been working hard on putting God first. In the easy ways, of course, like praising him, loving him, reading his word, showing him daily that I love him most.

But it’s the hard stuff that I’ve been doing lately to prove my love to Him. Shutting my mouth when I don’t want to, releasing thoughts of negativity from my mind, MOST IMPORTANTLY, letting God do Him Nad keeping myself out of it.

I’m still not where I want to be. I’m not even close. But I’ve been going to Him more than ever before. It feels good. I’ve been really asking God for His will to be done in my life. Even if I don’t see his plan, I will do my best to obey.

Not everything in my life is wonderful. Actually, the opposite. There’s a lot of problems I have going on. But I will not let that deter from what God is trying to do in my life.

Romans 12:2 ESV
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

I learned the other day what NEW was in the Bible- at least one meaning. What it really meant. God says we are new in Him. But what has many years of translations and our understanding done to it? Kainos (Greek spelling, who knows, but cool if you know) is fresh. It’s untouched. It’s brand new. God gives us this gift. All we do is seek Him. Mmmm so comfy and lovely. It’s like fresh sheets out of the dryer. But better. Way better.

2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

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Single vs attached

June 14, 2018

I WAS raised in a barn

I have endured both. I have celebrated both. I’ve been single. I’ve been attached. I’ve been married. I’ve been divorced. I’ve been rematched with someone else. Like life always expects, it all must be balanced.

We must be able to understand someone else’s feelings to better understand what life is asking of us. How does my friend feel when I go through all of those changes? How do I feel when my friends go through all those changes? Am I balanced in it?

Are we equally respecting each other’s season of life?

We need friends. And we most definitely need the support. It’s an awful life to be without someone there to pick you up when you have fallen down.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

In Job, when life was really coming down on him and everything was wrong, his friends came and stayed with him. They didn’t even say a word to him. They just were there; exactly what he needed.

Job 2:11

11 When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him

Let’s go out and try to be the best friend we can be. Only you and your friends know what that means. But make sure it’s positive and pure and build each other up and MOST DEFINITELY focus your lives on God.

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What EGO?

June 14, 2018

I WAS raised in a barn

I heard this in church…..

“The work of the Lord is more important than your ego”

I like this. If we don’t check ourself, there is a large chance we are going to, in fact, wreck ourself (showing my age, icecube)

I desire to improve myself. I desire to become closer to God in all aspects of my life. I sometimes have to tell my ego to go sit down so God’s work can shine through. I’m thankful that God shows me how to do it. I only listen and pray. Pray and let God.

Amen.

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Perspective

June 7, 2018

work smart not hard. said no social worker ever.

Im bubbling over with anger. I’m in a funk. I’m so frustrated and there’s no simple end to my current issues. I’ve read my Jesus Calling book. I’ve prayed about it. I still dont feel great. I’m still so frustrated.

In comes a man… legs cut off from the knee down. Paying restitution for something he didn’t do. Struggling to get in the door and struggling just as much to get out of the door.

Take that Pattie.

God says………

You whine and complain about your first world problems. You pray to me but you don’t listen. Let me slap you in the face.

Yes, Lord. I hear you Lord. My problems are not worth a day ruined. I am thankful for my health. I am thankful for my career. I am thankful to be alive. This will blow over. It is not the end of the world.

Amen.

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Excuse me sir, you have something in your eye

June 7, 2018

Sober isn’t always sunshine. But living is ALWAYS beautiful

I have a hard time listening to a person discussing someone else’s faults. Nonetheless, I have been caught doing the same thing.

Psalms 73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Thank you God, for knowing us and giving us Your Grace!

I have done almost anything there is to do wrong in life. The beauty in that is that I am able to admit this. NOW. If we stop looking inward at what we are doing, and focus on the outward of what others are doing, what are we REALLY accomplishing? NOTHING. I still fail today. Yesterday. And probably tomorrow. But I feel like that helps me share God’s grace to others (most of the time).

Matthew 7: 1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.²For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.³“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

I absolutely LOVE the Bible. God knew these problems would continue beyond all years. He allowed flawed humans to create it, knowing we could use it for life. His ever so careful and kind and loving and precise love pours out onto the pages.

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. ~ Ephesians 4:2-3

So without sounding so totally gushy and mushy and fake, I mean this as real as possible. Love. Love wins.

Next time you want to bash someone for doing something you think is less than….. Use your love for God to show them love. Even if that love is not saying anything at all. That’s OK. God doesn’t expect us to be Him. God doesn’t expect us to be perfect. So if shutting up is the best option. Do that.

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

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Leave Jesus out of it

June 7, 2018

I WAS raised in a barn

Jesus didn’t fail you, unperfect people did.

Too soon, we jump the gun and blame God. I was abused, blame God. I was molested, blame God. I was ruined, blame God. I was hurt, blame God. I was condemned, blame God. I was left, blame God.

All of those things happened by a humans’ hand, not God. God loves us. He loves our every being.

God even loves the ones that hurt us.

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit *Psalms 34:18

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Grouchy Gus, Happy Harriet

June 5, 2018

I WAS raised in a barn

Be angry. At someone. Or something. But prolonged anger doesn’t help. We work through our anger so that we can enjoy life.

The world says it’s time to work through anger but, deep down, do you want to? Enter bubbling under the surface, anger, stage left. You think it’s hidden, but it is shining brightly for everyone to see. The hurt isn’t talked about. The hurt is denied, causing present problems. Unresolved hurt, causes pain over and over. Unresolved hurt causes pain to others.

Break down. It’s the only way. It doesn’t have to be in front of an audience. But it better get done in front of God. Life goes on after the hurt. If one stays in hurt, one loses out. Hurt wins. What caused the hurt, wins.

Let it go. Let God take responsibility for any repercussions. Let God decide what matters and what doesn’t. Your mind isn’t very good at it. Breath out pain, breath in hope.

Breath. Out. Pain. Breath. In. Hope.

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Grip on

June 4, 2018

I WAS raised in a barn

“When the path before you is dotted with difficulties, beware of measuring your strength against those challenges”

-Jesus Calling

Life is for God to manage. We are not capable to do it on our own.

Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

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